Film Review: 2012

It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I just can’t help but laugh

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So much for looking forward to the London 2012 Olympics or the next European Football Championships or my second year at university. Although what I can look forward to, is the death of Simon Cowell (I can predict things too).

Sadly, his death isn’t filmed in this disaster misfire. Oh the irony of reality and reality television but anyway, here we’ve been served a big budget film – directed by Roland Emmerich – that is destined to belong with Independence Day (also directed by Emmerich. Guess he likes the world to be a depressing place) and Transformers 2 as films that focuses on the rich/well off, mainly white and the attractive as well as lazy script writing.

” The film is more like a Mario game except

2012’s concept made less sense”

Jack Curtis (John Cusak), a divorced author and part time limo driver who’s children are now under care of his ex-wife (Amanda Peet) and current boyfriend (Thomas McCarthy). On the other end of the spectrum, scientist (Chiwetel Ejiofor) discovers some sort of tectonic crisis that dooms us all in the year 2012.

The plot is basically this: family is caught between the catastrophes and attempts to slalom their way out of it as the boffins figure an escape for all the wealthy people.

Ignore the plot line because that’s what you’ll be doing throughout the film. Explosions, annihilated American states and cities, more explosions, towering arks/spaceship and yes more – wait, there was something more ridiculous than the above mentioned.

When nature throws everything at you, surely you should be dead. Yes, it is a film but when someone uses their logic and common sense, you realise, that this is as impossible as a Beatles reunion.

Earthquake; survived. Rock tsunami; survived. Raging fireballs from hell; survived. Collapsing skyscrapers like jenga blocks; survived. Crash landing onto a mountain yet they somehow find stable ground; survived. Heck, even a normal tsunami couldn’t at least give them a bloody nose. How much luck can one family have?

“The more time we waste the more luck we have to rely on.” Thinking that they had a sack-full of four leaf clovers, horseshoes and hoping for Dr. Octupus to cross his fingers? No. It was more like a Mario game except 2012’s concept had no sense.

Emmerich didn’t even provide much dialogue for Cusack,  Ejiofor and Danny Glover (U.S. President). They utilised a vast range of cinematic cliches such as “I promise I’ll be back” or something along those lines or “he’s alive!” when there is a clear movement of hand raising from a fault-line.

This is the problem.

2012 relies so much on visuals that it might as well be a children’s picture book franchise on how to destroy the world. It blinds you from the plot, the characters and food. The CGI is naturally brilliant, with the breathtaking scenery of China and crumbling Los Angeles.

Dare I say, it makes the plot irrelevant. “Save the children!” “Will the father be ok?” “We can do it!” We know what will happen, like predicting the dead will remain dead.

The worst part is 2012, in reality, hasn’t even past yet and all these conspiracies will continue to hover and annoy the living life out of you. At least I can look forward to watching the polar ice caps melt – now that there, is accuracy.

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2 Comments

Filed under Review

2 responses to “Film Review: 2012

  1. your favourite dina in the world

    reaaaaaally funny and well-written, you should write for Empire Magazine, its as good as anything in there! 😀

  2. Have you forgotten that I’m not a film junkie Dina 😀 ?

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