The Month In Review

The month of September: the month where people start moaning the second they step into a classroom…after three months of complaints relating to boredom.

Lists, lists, lists – every month, I’ll be conjuring up a list of observations whether media, pop, student or education etc related. Basically, anything goes! Lets see what I’ve managed to notice this month….

#1 Pigeons are over-ambitious.

The scourge of the skies; rats with wings; the only thing in the London sky where you actually have to watch out for projectiles – yes damn pigeons. When you start feeding ducks and swans, it’s all very well and you have little commotion (apart from this killer swan). But the second one pigeon detects food, a horde of them follows ya….and craps on your leg. Or in my case, sits on your leg, pecks at ya….then craps on ya. Damn birds.

#2 Going to Notting Hill via bike is the worst experience evar.

I though I’ll be fine going to Notting Hill with my bike….before I overlooked one little, teeny, tiny, incy, bitty tidbit: the hill! And it’s not a merciful one. Oh my burning thighs and already-mangled back. Doesn’t help when you have to dodge buses, trucks and angry motorists who think purple isn’t the correct cycling colour. Now this would have been a good part on Channel 4’s dismal and fragmented Seven Days instead of women having a go for having “not really fabulous hair” or something or other.

#3 I’d watch Gordon Ramsay over Jamie Oliver any day.

Watch a man who’d cry over children not using knifes and forks from the age of 4 ’til 10 or watch a man bark rage at people because they put only a “little bit” of salt as opposed to a “dash” of salt? I think the barking chef with so many lines across his forehead wins. Especially when you’re tempted to write the word ‘relax’ on those lines.

#4 Why burn the Koran when you can burn Twilight books instead?

Pastor (left) & Denholm. Dead ringer.

If right-wing evangelical Christians think the Koran is oh so evil, what an earth do they think of Twilight? Or Harry Potter? Or the World of Warcraft Prima Strategy Guide kindly sold in GAME stores across the U.K.? Er, nope. I’ve only received a tumbleweed response from them so far. Also,  Pastor Terry Jones, the person who organised the failed book burning, looks awfully similar to pension-stealing and computer-ignorant Denholm from the I.T. Crowd….

#5 Speaking of I.T., turning it off and on again has been given new life.

As a child, I would automatically switch my Game Boy Colour off when I lose to the first member of the Elite Four in Pokemon Blue and pick off where I last saved (then I would flop at the second member. I suppose a level 54 Venusaur and then a team of level 3 Ratattas didn’t really suffice). 10 or so years later, I’d be doing the same thing with this crappy laptop I’m typing this blog post with. Silly Billy Gates.

#6 …which kindly leads to me to this statement: a Mac pwns a P.C.

Think of it as chocolate’s magnum opus – the Lindt Lindor; the Ferroro Rocher; Swiss or Belgium chocolate. Hmm….chocolate.

#7  Does ANYONE understand the cricket scandal?!

Like many of us, I have no clue how an earth cricket works. Ironically, I’ve played cricket for about 2 years – in the school team and my God all I knew was catching the ball and swinging the bat and running. Now then, this scandal is based upon match fixing and a no-ball or has something to do with finding a….thing….which..has…something…to….do..with a…gaaah!

#8 “Life could be worse. You could be a slug.”

Eh? Eh? I think I’d rather be a homeless, smelly and bearded hobo on the streets of Kensington than be a slug who’s basically a sitting duck from hungry birds. Oh look, I’m back to birds again. Damn birds.

‘Til next time,



Filed under London Life, Media, Review, Student Life

2 responses to “The Month In Review

  1. Raz

    Plus, if you’re a slug, your one joy is eating plants. And then you go “oooh, beer!”, and then it turns out a garden freak has put it there to kill you, and you drown, drunk. I’d hate to be a slug.

  2. Thinking about, a cat in a wheelie bin would have given the slug a run for its money!

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