National Poetry Day

It’s National Poetry Day meaning I’m gonna try apply for a job. What job? The Crappest Poet In the World. Here goes something….


The sound of the King’s Road

The smell of fresh hot chocolate

The painful glare on my screen

A typical day for the one who’s Oyster Card

Buzzes twice and green


This stanza

Has no comic sheen

Has no brilliance because

It’s just rambling on and on and

On and becoming less and less of a poem

More like a staircase for the nerds who play Dungeons

And Dragons or watches Countdown or Catchphrase all day


Disjointed this poem is and no sense of irony

Fair to say

Self deprecating, not good

Am I

And voice of Yoda,

You read this stanza in


For those who remembers the Anthology

I know it sends a shiver to the hairs on your skin

You don’t want to remember poetry

“Fair enough” is what I’ll say

Even though you won’t get this

Reference of Spiderman or

Superman scaling Buckingham Palace

For cause and attention


So I end this crappy poem

(In my defence, this isn’t my true profession)

In hope of obtaining the title of

The World’s Worst Poet

Oh yes I can hear your moans and your laughter at my rejection

Especially when you hear two buzzes from my Oyster Card

In quick succession



‘Til next time,


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