Riot Breaks After Take That Ticket Fiasco

Welcome to another addition of the Writer’s Mock, where I find news stories from across the country, tear it apart and rebuild it with irony and a lot of piss taking. In this edition, I will be focusing on the student demonstrations that have been dominating the news last week and ticket problems regarding Take That during the tail end of last month. And before I go on, I will admit that I called the Millbank Tower the ‘Millibank Towers‘. Idiotic, I know.

FURIOUS Take That fans took to the streets outside Parliament last Wednesday after many suffered technical glitches trying to get hold of precious tickets online, many of whom were sitting on their pathetic arses pressing F5 on their keyboards with no success.

Their protests were then overshadowed by obsessed mums (who have forgotten that they’re married) hurling fire extinguishers at 30 Millbank’s windows, trying to appeal to the Coalition Government despite their comments last week saying they “essentially couldn’t give a f***” because they have “real priorities to try and avoid such university cuts.”

Many significant celebs were also at the demo such as GEORGE GALLOWAY, KERRY KATONA and CHANTELLE HOUGHTON. PIERS MORGAN was also at the rally, parading a large placard:

No you half-witted eejit.

 

Meanwhile, Gary Barlow has slowly declined the position as a permanent presenter for CBoobies’ Adult Bedtime Stories. He said that “wwwellll, I’m reaaally flattered…………………but I wunt to fucus on maaai muusic wiiiith the rest of the lllads”.

 

‘Til next time,

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